So, it's about halfway through the year. I know I haven't blogged in awhile, but I was reading through my old posts, and kinda laughed when I read my resolutions one. So let's see how well I've stuck to it.
Play more guitar- Haven't done it. Between that move to Vegas and then moving back home, there was no time. I also left my guitar in Vegas and things happened, it is now in Texas with my dad. I should be getting it soon though, I hope.
Have more patience- I've actually stuck to this one, and I'm proud. :D
Use camera daily- I think I forgot about this one. Maybe I'll start it now. Maybe now. Who knows?
Get a job, and stick with it- Once again, between the moves, I've only been looking for 2 months now. I had an interview at Border's didn't get it. Nobody else has called back.
Stay Organized- I have nothing TO organize. I have no room anymore.
Lose weight- Just plain and simple, no.
Dress up once a week- I HAVE done this. But I'm not so sure it was intentional. Haha.
Keep a journal- I don't have a room. I live out of a suitcase and the trunk of my car. I have a 3 year old nephew and a 10 year old niece who would probably find it since theres nowhere to hide it, and tell everyone about it.
Love someone with all my heart- PRINCE CHARMING DOES NOT EXIST. Hahaha. SO pessimistic. I think I put something about Jahaziel in here, but as of about 3 weeks ago, that's over and done with.
Find a way to update my wardrobe- No money=No way of doing this.
Read more books- I have read a few. Let's see. Dear John (of course), The Last Song, TTYL, Prep, Nightlife, Thirteen Reasons Why, Crank, Im reading Glass now. That's all I can think of a the moment, but I'm making a trip to the library again on Sunday.
Donate Blood- I have a tattoo now. I can't. X)
Have the best birthday of my life- I was in Vegas. I went out to eat with people who were twice my age and much much much older.
6.25.2010
2.03.2010
Day 1 and 2.
Vegas. Home. Weird. Hahaha. I plan on blogging about life here in Vegas from now on, mainly for my own personal use to look back and see if things change or not. So where to even begin?
The day before I left I spent with my dad, his girlfriend, his roommate Mark (who will be mentioned quite a bit throughout all this, I'm sure), My sister, my brother-in-law, my brother,
my niece and my nephew. My dad got to the house in a BAD mood because of something my sister said. He had taken it the wrong way so by the time my sister realized he did take it the wrong way, it was done and over with. We went out to dinner to a place in Mission Beach called Tony Roma's. SOO goood. Then we went to Seaport Village and just talked and talked and talked. It was a GREAT way to spend my last day in SD, I just wish I would have gotten to spend more time with my mom. So after that I went to go see Jahaziel. Some drama happened with the family which caused me to be late, and I got off on the wrong exit to top it off. -_- It had been a month since I had driven to his house so I got the "43rd st" exit and the "47th st" exit mixed up. It was a mess. So by the time I had gotten there, it was WAY too late to actually go in his house so we stood outside for about an hour and just talked. We figured out what we would do being 5 hours away. I actually expected everything to be over because it is so new and I just didn't think he would want to put up with some type of long distance relationship but he's WANTING it to work out which makes me feel good. :) We decided to send one picture a day, to keep texting all the time, and call eachother, which is something we have never done before just because we're always so busy, and texting works fine. I also mentioned to him that my dad asked me to invite him to Vegas for Valentines day instead of me going to San Diego and he was stoked, which surprised me as well considering the fact that he hasn't even MET my dad and I didn't know if it was too big of a step too soon. Then I went home and talked to him on the phone for about 30 more minutes, it was nice. :)
So I don't count the day I left as "Day 1" because it was half a day in SD and half a day here in Vegas. But that was an interesting day. My dad came to pack up the truck at about 9. We loaded it up, my mom put on her sunglasses because she was holding back tears, my brother said "bye have fun" and left to some thing he had to do for baseball, my sister was crying as soon as my dad showed up and my niece followed me around the whole time. Saying bye was easy, I thought I would be a wreck but I was fine, until I had to say bye to my niece and nephew. It hit me like a bag of bricks so I rushed to the truck so nobody would see. Then we left. We stopped at starbucks and I texted Judi because that is definitely our spot. ;) Haha. Then 4 1/2 hours later I was here, home. I saw my room and I was excited. Its not HUGE, but it's definitely better than having to share a room with my almost 18 year old brother. Haha. I went from a twin bed to a King size bed. :D I spent the rest of the day mostly getting my room ready. I hung up some clothes, made TWO trips to walmart to get a comforter set and some pillows, and we put some furniture from the house in my room. Like a desk, an end table, an armoir, anddd I THINK thats it. I hung up my posters as well. Jahaziel sent his first picture to me, I started cracking up, it was embarassing. But he made me smile. :) Then I watched The Secret Life of the American Teenager and passed out on my HUGE bed.
OFFICIAL Day 1. I didn't do much of anything. I woke up to an empty, huge house. I took a shower and spent about an hour of boredom curling my hair. Then realized I had no hairspray or straightener to either keep it or leave it. Then we all went out to eat at Chile's. The GPS sent us to one that was closed the first time, so we spent 30 minutes looking for it then realized we had circled around it 3 times and it was shut down. It was hilarious. But we found another one about 10 miles away. Then we came home, I fixed up more things on my wall and that was pretty much my dad. Boring and uneventful.
Day 2. I woke up later than I had planned so I rushed to take a shower. When I came back to my room, I was locked out. And my keys were in my purse, in my room. -_- Luckily, my uncle (his names Ben, I've called him my uncle since I was about 12), was home from work and spent about 45 minutes trying to break into my room. Eventually, I got in and spent about 20 minutes trying to hurry and do my hair and makeup. Done. Then we went to the Social Security Card Office and I should be getting my replacement card in about a week. We stopped at Wendy's, then came home and did absolutely nothing. When my dad and his Gf (Theresa) got home, we went to Walmart to buy a bookshelf. We ended up getting a lamp for my end table as well. So the rest of the night was spent trying to build the bookshelf and unpack 2 boxes of stuff that would go on the bookshelf. And once again, I passed out on my bed(;
And now, I'm here. Day 3. It's only 1:45 so we'll see if anything interesting happens today. I'll write about it tonight.
The day before I left I spent with my dad, his girlfriend, his roommate Mark (who will be mentioned quite a bit throughout all this, I'm sure), My sister, my brother-in-law, my brother,
my niece and my nephew. My dad got to the house in a BAD mood because of something my sister said. He had taken it the wrong way so by the time my sister realized he did take it the wrong way, it was done and over with. We went out to dinner to a place in Mission Beach called Tony Roma's. SOO goood. Then we went to Seaport Village and just talked and talked and talked. It was a GREAT way to spend my last day in SD, I just wish I would have gotten to spend more time with my mom. So after that I went to go see Jahaziel. Some drama happened with the family which caused me to be late, and I got off on the wrong exit to top it off. -_- It had been a month since I had driven to his house so I got the "43rd st" exit and the "47th st" exit mixed up. It was a mess. So by the time I had gotten there, it was WAY too late to actually go in his house so we stood outside for about an hour and just talked. We figured out what we would do being 5 hours away. I actually expected everything to be over because it is so new and I just didn't think he would want to put up with some type of long distance relationship but he's WANTING it to work out which makes me feel good. :) We decided to send one picture a day, to keep texting all the time, and call eachother, which is something we have never done before just because we're always so busy, and texting works fine. I also mentioned to him that my dad asked me to invite him to Vegas for Valentines day instead of me going to San Diego and he was stoked, which surprised me as well considering the fact that he hasn't even MET my dad and I didn't know if it was too big of a step too soon. Then I went home and talked to him on the phone for about 30 more minutes, it was nice. :)
So I don't count the day I left as "Day 1" because it was half a day in SD and half a day here in Vegas. But that was an interesting day. My dad came to pack up the truck at about 9. We loaded it up, my mom put on her sunglasses because she was holding back tears, my brother said "bye have fun" and left to some thing he had to do for baseball, my sister was crying as soon as my dad showed up and my niece followed me around the whole time. Saying bye was easy, I thought I would be a wreck but I was fine, until I had to say bye to my niece and nephew. It hit me like a bag of bricks so I rushed to the truck so nobody would see. Then we left. We stopped at starbucks and I texted Judi because that is definitely our spot. ;) Haha. Then 4 1/2 hours later I was here, home. I saw my room and I was excited. Its not HUGE, but it's definitely better than having to share a room with my almost 18 year old brother. Haha. I went from a twin bed to a King size bed. :D I spent the rest of the day mostly getting my room ready. I hung up some clothes, made TWO trips to walmart to get a comforter set and some pillows, and we put some furniture from the house in my room. Like a desk, an end table, an armoir, anddd I THINK thats it. I hung up my posters as well. Jahaziel sent his first picture to me, I started cracking up, it was embarassing. But he made me smile. :) Then I watched The Secret Life of the American Teenager and passed out on my HUGE bed.
OFFICIAL Day 1. I didn't do much of anything. I woke up to an empty, huge house. I took a shower and spent about an hour of boredom curling my hair. Then realized I had no hairspray or straightener to either keep it or leave it. Then we all went out to eat at Chile's. The GPS sent us to one that was closed the first time, so we spent 30 minutes looking for it then realized we had circled around it 3 times and it was shut down. It was hilarious. But we found another one about 10 miles away. Then we came home, I fixed up more things on my wall and that was pretty much my dad. Boring and uneventful.
Day 2. I woke up later than I had planned so I rushed to take a shower. When I came back to my room, I was locked out. And my keys were in my purse, in my room. -_- Luckily, my uncle (his names Ben, I've called him my uncle since I was about 12), was home from work and spent about 45 minutes trying to break into my room. Eventually, I got in and spent about 20 minutes trying to hurry and do my hair and makeup. Done. Then we went to the Social Security Card Office and I should be getting my replacement card in about a week. We stopped at Wendy's, then came home and did absolutely nothing. When my dad and his Gf (Theresa) got home, we went to Walmart to buy a bookshelf. We ended up getting a lamp for my end table as well. So the rest of the night was spent trying to build the bookshelf and unpack 2 boxes of stuff that would go on the bookshelf. And once again, I passed out on my bed(;
And now, I'm here. Day 3. It's only 1:45 so we'll see if anything interesting happens today. I'll write about it tonight.
1.11.2010
Resolutions.
Okay, so here's my list-for now. I'll more than likely be changing things around.
Play more guitar- I have this beautiful, new guitar sitting in my room. And I barely know anything about it. I'm just not very self-motivated when it comes to teching myself how to play. But, I now have someone who's going to help out whenever I need it. But part of my goal, is to learn it MYSELF. That might not be all the way possible, bbut for the most part, I'm going to try. :)
Have more patience- It's an ongoing battle at home, sharing a room with my brother, who is now almost 18. -_- But we both came to the conclusion that we fight so much, only because we share the same space that is designated to others as "your own." "Me time" is just not possible here, but until we can afford a place with one more bedroom, there's nothing that's going to change the bickering. Other than a little bit of patience.
Use camera daily- I read through some old notebooks I used to share with friends. You know, the ones where you write eachother letters daily, haha. I found that I have forgotten so many things that have happened, things I thought I wouuld always remember. I hate forgetting, memories are so important to me. So I want to use my camera daily, to never forget anything that goes on, unless of course I WANT to. But this also helps with the fact that I miss scrapbooking so much and I can now get back into it. :)
Get a job, and stick with it- I've never worked. I've never needed to. But I've always wanted to. Getting a job is extremely hard to do these days, but now I NEED one. For financial reasons, school reasons, and to keep me out of the house and off the computer all day long.
Get a car- Self-explanatory. It's hard to have a social life without a car. It's hard to have a job without a car. But, you can't have one without the other. Tricky situation, but I think I can do it. ;)
Stay Organized- with everything. School, my room, my thoughts. Everything. I have a planner now. That should help with school. Let's see how the rest goes.
Lose weight- Depression led to a rapid weight gain. I hate it. I want to eat healthy, and exercise more. I'm excited for this one. :D
Dress up once a week- This one's going to be hard to do with school every single day now. But I love dressing nice, feeling pretty, and going out of the house looking that way. Even if it's just a trip to wal-mart. I like the feeling. :)
Keep a journal- To keep myself from going insane.
Love someone with all my heart- This one sounds stupid and cheesy. But I miss being in love. Not a fan of the arguing and things that come along with it, but what about the feeling you get once you realize the argument is over and you guys are fine again. It's been so long since I've truly been IN love with someone, years. I miss it so much. I'm not going to go out and "look for love" because in reality it just doesn't happen that way, but I do hope that this comes along SOME time in the next 12 months. Just a hint though, there is an amazing boy in my life right now, and we're not in the "I love you" stage just yet, but he truly is something else. I've never met a person who I can talk to and have fun with the way I do with him. :)
Find a way to update my wardrobe- This probably comes along with the job thing, but it is much needed. My clothes are so, plain.
Read more books- I LOVE reading. But I get so caught up in life and things that I have to get done, that I forget how much I love reading because I never have the time to do it. I will be reading more often this year though. I'm already off to a great start.
Donate Blood- I did it once in high school. And I never went back to do it again. I meant too, I just never....did. Maybe it was because I was annoyed that they called me once a day for 7 months to try to set up an appointment, and being the stubborn person I am, I just said no every time. Whatever the reason is, I just need to do it again. There's NOTHING to it. And I feel so selfish for not doing it.
Have the best birthday of my life- I've never had an amazing birthday where everyone gets together and celebrates. I want that this year. I'm going to make it happen. :)
Play more guitar- I have this beautiful, new guitar sitting in my room. And I barely know anything about it. I'm just not very self-motivated when it comes to teching myself how to play. But, I now have someone who's going to help out whenever I need it. But part of my goal, is to learn it MYSELF. That might not be all the way possible, bbut for the most part, I'm going to try. :)
Have more patience- It's an ongoing battle at home, sharing a room with my brother, who is now almost 18. -_- But we both came to the conclusion that we fight so much, only because we share the same space that is designated to others as "your own." "Me time" is just not possible here, but until we can afford a place with one more bedroom, there's nothing that's going to change the bickering. Other than a little bit of patience.
Use camera daily- I read through some old notebooks I used to share with friends. You know, the ones where you write eachother letters daily, haha. I found that I have forgotten so many things that have happened, things I thought I wouuld always remember. I hate forgetting, memories are so important to me. So I want to use my camera daily, to never forget anything that goes on, unless of course I WANT to. But this also helps with the fact that I miss scrapbooking so much and I can now get back into it. :)
Get a job, and stick with it- I've never worked. I've never needed to. But I've always wanted to. Getting a job is extremely hard to do these days, but now I NEED one. For financial reasons, school reasons, and to keep me out of the house and off the computer all day long.
Get a car- Self-explanatory. It's hard to have a social life without a car. It's hard to have a job without a car. But, you can't have one without the other. Tricky situation, but I think I can do it. ;)
Stay Organized- with everything. School, my room, my thoughts. Everything. I have a planner now. That should help with school. Let's see how the rest goes.
Lose weight- Depression led to a rapid weight gain. I hate it. I want to eat healthy, and exercise more. I'm excited for this one. :D
Dress up once a week- This one's going to be hard to do with school every single day now. But I love dressing nice, feeling pretty, and going out of the house looking that way. Even if it's just a trip to wal-mart. I like the feeling. :)
Keep a journal- To keep myself from going insane.
Love someone with all my heart- This one sounds stupid and cheesy. But I miss being in love. Not a fan of the arguing and things that come along with it, but what about the feeling you get once you realize the argument is over and you guys are fine again. It's been so long since I've truly been IN love with someone, years. I miss it so much. I'm not going to go out and "look for love" because in reality it just doesn't happen that way, but I do hope that this comes along SOME time in the next 12 months. Just a hint though, there is an amazing boy in my life right now, and we're not in the "I love you" stage just yet, but he truly is something else. I've never met a person who I can talk to and have fun with the way I do with him. :)
Find a way to update my wardrobe- This probably comes along with the job thing, but it is much needed. My clothes are so, plain.
Read more books- I LOVE reading. But I get so caught up in life and things that I have to get done, that I forget how much I love reading because I never have the time to do it. I will be reading more often this year though. I'm already off to a great start.
Donate Blood- I did it once in high school. And I never went back to do it again. I meant too, I just never....did. Maybe it was because I was annoyed that they called me once a day for 7 months to try to set up an appointment, and being the stubborn person I am, I just said no every time. Whatever the reason is, I just need to do it again. There's NOTHING to it. And I feel so selfish for not doing it.
Have the best birthday of my life- I've never had an amazing birthday where everyone gets together and celebrates. I want that this year. I'm going to make it happen. :)
1.02.2010
2010
New Year. New Beginnings.
I think I'm going to post more here.
I miss it. :)
I'll post as soon as I figure out what my resolution is this year.
I think I'm going to post more here.
I miss it. :)
I'll post as soon as I figure out what my resolution is this year.
9.30.2009
Dear Me,
You're 7 years old and your grandparents are your best friends. You've spent the last 2 years learning the greatest "life lessons" from Grandma on how to be a big girl. She let's you wear her pearl earrings every Sunday to Mass. She gives you a ring on your first day of school, you'll keep it forever. But please remember not to let your sister "borrow" it one day. She won't return it for 2 years and it will be pretty beat up. But most of all, remember to tell your grandparents how much you love them, and love spending time with them. They'll go to pick you up one day during summer vacation, you won't be home, but you'll never see them again. And the people who murdered them, will still be alive.
Now you're 9. You've gotten holiday cards from Grandma Frances and Grandpa Nick for almost every thing you could imagine. You talk to them on the phone a lot, but you haven't seen them since you were 5. Make sure and bug your parents to take you on a trip to see Grandpa at least once in this time. You need to say goodbye before your dad shows up at your school crying when he has the stroke.
You're in 5th grade now. You finally have your first major crush. Well beware sweetie, you will be crushing on this guy for the next 5 years of your life. Please tell yourself over and over that he's a complete asshole. Yes, you can use that word. Nobody is going to die because of it. Remember that nobodys friendship is worth this guy. Including Jazmin. She will go on to be the best friend you ever had. She is amazing.
You're in 7th grade now. You've met that girl Angela. And Yasmin. You guys will definitely be best friends for the next 6 years. I can't tell you much beyond that, because it's here I'm at now. But from the looks of things, nothings changing anytime soon.
You're in 8th grade and being one of the captains of your color guard team is the one thing you want more than anything. I'm going to be blunt, you don't get it. Save yourselve the tears and drama for the whole year and just have fun with the team.
9th grade and you think you're "in love" with Chris. YOU'RE NOT. Please, please, please, PLEASE do not give something so precious like that to him. You're going to regret it. When Grandma Frances gets sick and you go to Texas, please don't bug your parents to go home. Chris will be there when you get back. He's not waiting for you. He's with Alexis. Hug Grandma and tell her you love her. It will be the last time.
You're a sophomore now and you like this Marco guy. GO FOR IT. Don't doubt yourselve. He's shy at first, you might need to come up to him first, for the first week or so, but it's so worth it. He is going to teach you so many things about yourself, he's going to become your best friend, he's going to make you laugh, cry and scream more than you ever have in your life so far. Spend as much time as you can with him, he makes you the happiest. Bring him around your family more, they'll like him and he'll feel appreciated. And when you meet your "best friend" Aron, do NOT fall for him. Marco will catch on, and you'll let him go as fast as you can. And eventually you will hurt him, even if he did the break-up. You ill hurt yourself a lot more though. In 3 years you will still be thinkng about him. And GET THIS! You know how he's always making fun of your brother, your brother and Armin are going to become best friends and he's going to be there A LOT. But don't make that promise to stay best friends with Marco, it wont happen and it will break your heart.
It's summer now. Marco's going to call you for the first time in months. But a week later you will see Marco with that new girl. You're going to cry all day long. In Hannah's arms, Aron's arms and Jazmin's. But you should really go with Jazmin to the beach the next day to see that one guy Carlos for his birthday. I know you don't like him at all, but eventually he will become the one person you turn to. He will be your best friend. And you will spend 2 years of your life making amazing memories with him. But don't smother him. I know you're scared to lose him, but it only pushes him away. You need him a lot more than you think.
You're in 11th grade now, Hannah's your bestestest best friend, for the time being. Make as many memories with her as you can. And don't let your grades drop because you want to ditch school to go see Carlos, or stay uplate on the phone with him instead of homework. Just trust me on this one. In April, when your dad asks you if it's okay if he goes to Vegas for 3 months to get back on his feet financially, tell him NO! It is the worst thing that could ever happen to you or your family. He will end up being there for 2 years, you will listen toyour mom cry herself to sleep every night, and you ill go through major depression your senior year.
You're a Senior now, it's the end. Go out with your friends more. Those birthdays and stuff that Alexis and the girls throw, GO. You don't want to be the outcast of the group. You wil have fun. I promise. Yasmin is the best person you know, and she's going to help you with a lot of problems you have coming up. When you're depressed, do whatever you can to go to school. You think that the classes don't matter, but I promise they do. And at graduation, whether your grandmas waiting at home or not, take pictures with your friends, all of them, and say goodbye.
College. Its you're 2nd week now and you get in a fight with Carlos. You cry so hard you start throwing up, You can't sleep and you go to sleep at 4am just to wake up at 6am. You get to school and tell yourself you can't make it the rest of the day. You throw up in the bathroom. But that's IT. You don't get sick anymore. DON'T TAKE THAT BUS HOME. You WILL regret it. You will never be so confused in your life if you go home. You're family will look down on you for it, and you won't get that 2nd chance that you're told you will be given. Just don't.
You're stronger than you think. More people love you than you can even think of. Tell your parents how much you love them, give them hugs, and talk to them. Because one day you will look at your mom and cry, and the most you'll get from your dad is a text a day, maybe. He loves you, he'll just have a new life with his girlfriend. Try to convince your sister to get a job sometime too, you don't want to watch your niece and nephew live off food stamps for 8 months. Get a job when you're 16, their is going to be a time when getting a job is REALLY hard, and with no experience, it's even harder. But it ill be when you need it the most. Laugh more, cry less. Don't eat when you're bored. And find good music anytime that you can. Never use the word regret. And when you think about your grandparents, you don't ALWAYS have to cry. They're happy now. If you would have found this saying earlier, you would have been a lot happier before. Live by it:
1. Whoever comes are the right people.
2. Whatever happens is the only thing that could have.
3. Whenever it starts is the right time.
4. When it's over, it's over.
Now you're 9. You've gotten holiday cards from Grandma Frances and Grandpa Nick for almost every thing you could imagine. You talk to them on the phone a lot, but you haven't seen them since you were 5. Make sure and bug your parents to take you on a trip to see Grandpa at least once in this time. You need to say goodbye before your dad shows up at your school crying when he has the stroke.
You're in 5th grade now. You finally have your first major crush. Well beware sweetie, you will be crushing on this guy for the next 5 years of your life. Please tell yourself over and over that he's a complete asshole. Yes, you can use that word. Nobody is going to die because of it. Remember that nobodys friendship is worth this guy. Including Jazmin. She will go on to be the best friend you ever had. She is amazing.
You're in 7th grade now. You've met that girl Angela. And Yasmin. You guys will definitely be best friends for the next 6 years. I can't tell you much beyond that, because it's here I'm at now. But from the looks of things, nothings changing anytime soon.
You're in 8th grade and being one of the captains of your color guard team is the one thing you want more than anything. I'm going to be blunt, you don't get it. Save yourselve the tears and drama for the whole year and just have fun with the team.
9th grade and you think you're "in love" with Chris. YOU'RE NOT. Please, please, please, PLEASE do not give something so precious like that to him. You're going to regret it. When Grandma Frances gets sick and you go to Texas, please don't bug your parents to go home. Chris will be there when you get back. He's not waiting for you. He's with Alexis. Hug Grandma and tell her you love her. It will be the last time.
You're a sophomore now and you like this Marco guy. GO FOR IT. Don't doubt yourselve. He's shy at first, you might need to come up to him first, for the first week or so, but it's so worth it. He is going to teach you so many things about yourself, he's going to become your best friend, he's going to make you laugh, cry and scream more than you ever have in your life so far. Spend as much time as you can with him, he makes you the happiest. Bring him around your family more, they'll like him and he'll feel appreciated. And when you meet your "best friend" Aron, do NOT fall for him. Marco will catch on, and you'll let him go as fast as you can. And eventually you will hurt him, even if he did the break-up. You ill hurt yourself a lot more though. In 3 years you will still be thinkng about him. And GET THIS! You know how he's always making fun of your brother, your brother and Armin are going to become best friends and he's going to be there A LOT. But don't make that promise to stay best friends with Marco, it wont happen and it will break your heart.
It's summer now. Marco's going to call you for the first time in months. But a week later you will see Marco with that new girl. You're going to cry all day long. In Hannah's arms, Aron's arms and Jazmin's. But you should really go with Jazmin to the beach the next day to see that one guy Carlos for his birthday. I know you don't like him at all, but eventually he will become the one person you turn to. He will be your best friend. And you will spend 2 years of your life making amazing memories with him. But don't smother him. I know you're scared to lose him, but it only pushes him away. You need him a lot more than you think.
You're in 11th grade now, Hannah's your bestestest best friend, for the time being. Make as many memories with her as you can. And don't let your grades drop because you want to ditch school to go see Carlos, or stay uplate on the phone with him instead of homework. Just trust me on this one. In April, when your dad asks you if it's okay if he goes to Vegas for 3 months to get back on his feet financially, tell him NO! It is the worst thing that could ever happen to you or your family. He will end up being there for 2 years, you will listen toyour mom cry herself to sleep every night, and you ill go through major depression your senior year.
You're a Senior now, it's the end. Go out with your friends more. Those birthdays and stuff that Alexis and the girls throw, GO. You don't want to be the outcast of the group. You wil have fun. I promise. Yasmin is the best person you know, and she's going to help you with a lot of problems you have coming up. When you're depressed, do whatever you can to go to school. You think that the classes don't matter, but I promise they do. And at graduation, whether your grandmas waiting at home or not, take pictures with your friends, all of them, and say goodbye.
College. Its you're 2nd week now and you get in a fight with Carlos. You cry so hard you start throwing up, You can't sleep and you go to sleep at 4am just to wake up at 6am. You get to school and tell yourself you can't make it the rest of the day. You throw up in the bathroom. But that's IT. You don't get sick anymore. DON'T TAKE THAT BUS HOME. You WILL regret it. You will never be so confused in your life if you go home. You're family will look down on you for it, and you won't get that 2nd chance that you're told you will be given. Just don't.
You're stronger than you think. More people love you than you can even think of. Tell your parents how much you love them, give them hugs, and talk to them. Because one day you will look at your mom and cry, and the most you'll get from your dad is a text a day, maybe. He loves you, he'll just have a new life with his girlfriend. Try to convince your sister to get a job sometime too, you don't want to watch your niece and nephew live off food stamps for 8 months. Get a job when you're 16, their is going to be a time when getting a job is REALLY hard, and with no experience, it's even harder. But it ill be when you need it the most. Laugh more, cry less. Don't eat when you're bored. And find good music anytime that you can. Never use the word regret. And when you think about your grandparents, you don't ALWAYS have to cry. They're happy now. If you would have found this saying earlier, you would have been a lot happier before. Live by it:
1. Whoever comes are the right people.
2. Whatever happens is the only thing that could have.
3. Whenever it starts is the right time.
4. When it's over, it's over.
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