I miss you.
And seeing you at school, is only going to make it harder.
Remember when we talked about how we would start together?
Things weren't supposed to be this way.
8.19.2009
8.09.2009
Stuck.
How am I supposed to tell her that the only reason I'm moving out is because of her? How am I supposed to explain that I'm moving with my dad, who just moved his girlfriend in from Texas this weekend. I honestly feel like nobody understands what I'M going through. It's always her, complaining and throwing a pity party for herself because she's missing something that was NEVER THERE in the first place, and my brother who only cares that this means he doesn't have money for clothes and no rides to his friends house. So what happens huh? I get the short end of the stick. Everyone takes everything out on me. And apparently, I'm worthless, a low-life who can't even get into college. HEY, way to boost my self-esteem guys. I can't wait to have my own place. And be able to start school again.
8.01.2009
So, there's this boy
and I shouldn't be blogging about him, but I can't tell anyone other than Yasmin and Angela who he is, and Yasmin has no way of talking to me and Angela's been out of town.
Lalalalalalala. I don't even know where to start. :) I feel like singing. I don't even know why I'm writing this. Haha. Well to start off, he's not Carlos. :D He's the first crush I can say I've honestly had in 2 years. He's older, a little older than I'd like. :/ BUT, he doesn't act that old, and he says I seem way too mature for an 18 year old, so I guess we kinda balance eachother out. :) Uhmm, okay. Well he's WAYYY different than any other guy I've had feelings for. And I don't mean the whole "OMG he's so different, he has to be the one." I mean, he's not a prep, social, jock, anything. He's into rock, dresses how he wants, and doesn't care what people think. But at the same time, I've never met someone soooo considerate of people's feelings. He's a mommas boy. He went to MVH a few years ago. He's not all crazy into girls. His family loves me. He knows my family well, which is why I can't say who he is, yet. X) He has the most beautiful blue eyes I've seen on anyone. He gives me BUTTERFLIES. My heart goes all crazy and I can't stop smiling when he's around. We ended up talking til 3 am in the morning about...well EVERYTHING. Haha. He's THAT type of guy. I can tell him about crazy high school memories, and family stuff, or talk about religion, OH and btw he has the same belief as I do, which is SO rare to find in ANYONE these days, let alone a boy I like so much. And oh my lord, the boy can make me laugh SO freakin hard. It's unbelievable. Haha. And his laugh is so contagious too. We were laughing for a good 15 minutes straight at something my sister says and he goes "The crazy thing is, it wasn't even funny," which led to ANOTHER 10 minutes of laughing. Haha. He plays the guitar, piano and drums, that I know of. I'm sure much more. Oh, and he sings<3 He loves music, like me. He teaches me "life lessons" and he's so supportive of everything I've told him I want to do. He's totally into family. We started talking about like how we think we're going to be in our marriages, and it was just so funy how we were on the same page. He's looking forward to the imperfections of being married and kids. It's cute. He's supposed to be going to vegas with us in 2 weeks. I'm gonna be the babysitter, and he literally offered to take a day away from the clubs and partying with everyone else so I could go off and do something. I'm telling you, he's way too sweet. He has imperfections too though. He's a partier and involved in all that "stuff" that comes with it. Drinking, smoking, etc. Nothing I'm not around on a daily basis. But, he knows how I'm super straight edge unless it's like a rare occasion and I drink. But I think I've learned to look past it. Idkkk, I'm just happy just being around. I don't know if anything will come out of this, I'm not getting my hopes up because, well he's older and there's something else in the way I won't mention. BUT, there's time. lots of time. Why you ask? Oh, he's my neighbor. :D
Lalalalalalala. I don't even know where to start. :) I feel like singing. I don't even know why I'm writing this. Haha. Well to start off, he's not Carlos. :D He's the first crush I can say I've honestly had in 2 years. He's older, a little older than I'd like. :/ BUT, he doesn't act that old, and he says I seem way too mature for an 18 year old, so I guess we kinda balance eachother out. :) Uhmm, okay. Well he's WAYYY different than any other guy I've had feelings for. And I don't mean the whole "OMG he's so different, he has to be the one." I mean, he's not a prep, social, jock, anything. He's into rock, dresses how he wants, and doesn't care what people think. But at the same time, I've never met someone soooo considerate of people's feelings. He's a mommas boy. He went to MVH a few years ago. He's not all crazy into girls. His family loves me. He knows my family well, which is why I can't say who he is, yet. X) He has the most beautiful blue eyes I've seen on anyone. He gives me BUTTERFLIES. My heart goes all crazy and I can't stop smiling when he's around. We ended up talking til 3 am in the morning about...well EVERYTHING. Haha. He's THAT type of guy. I can tell him about crazy high school memories, and family stuff, or talk about religion, OH and btw he has the same belief as I do, which is SO rare to find in ANYONE these days, let alone a boy I like so much. And oh my lord, the boy can make me laugh SO freakin hard. It's unbelievable. Haha. And his laugh is so contagious too. We were laughing for a good 15 minutes straight at something my sister says and he goes "The crazy thing is, it wasn't even funny," which led to ANOTHER 10 minutes of laughing. Haha. He plays the guitar, piano and drums, that I know of. I'm sure much more. Oh, and he sings<3 He loves music, like me. He teaches me "life lessons" and he's so supportive of everything I've told him I want to do. He's totally into family. We started talking about like how we think we're going to be in our marriages, and it was just so funy how we were on the same page. He's looking forward to the imperfections of being married and kids. It's cute. He's supposed to be going to vegas with us in 2 weeks. I'm gonna be the babysitter, and he literally offered to take a day away from the clubs and partying with everyone else so I could go off and do something. I'm telling you, he's way too sweet. He has imperfections too though. He's a partier and involved in all that "stuff" that comes with it. Drinking, smoking, etc. Nothing I'm not around on a daily basis. But, he knows how I'm super straight edge unless it's like a rare occasion and I drink. But I think I've learned to look past it. Idkkk, I'm just happy just being around. I don't know if anything will come out of this, I'm not getting my hopes up because, well he's older and there's something else in the way I won't mention. BUT, there's time. lots of time. Why you ask? Oh, he's my neighbor. :D
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