Okay so, a lot has happened since the last post. Too much to type it all out. To make a long story short, new kid came in the picture. Then it was ruined by the crazy stalker. But I don't even care cause it only made me realize how much I love what I had<3 And I am still going to fight for it. :)
On to a different subject. Life. Hmmm. Lots going on still. Crazy stuff. Sad stuff. DEPRESSING stuff. And now I am ready for my fresh start tomorrow<3 :) 12 weeks of high school left. And 13 left til graduation. :) I am sooo excited. I want high school to be over already. :)
Mmm... there's wayy too much to write. And I can't stop cleaning. Plus, I have a packet of spanish hw left. :/ So I must get off. :)
I guess this was just a post because I havent blogged in awhile, and everyone who actually reads my stuff should know I am still alive. :D And to remind myself of how happy and excited I am at this moment for reasons only known to me. :) so. Imma keep fighting. I've gone through this before. Gotta keep my head upupup. :)
I'll blog more tomorrow.
3.22.2009
3.05.2009
What the hell do we do now?
I guess over the past week I've learned that there are honestly 3 people I'd be lost without during all these times. Yasmin, Kristine and Carlos.
Yasmin, cause she's my bestie. She gives advice. And she's there.
Kristine, cause even when she doesnt know every single detail of every single story. She'll listen. And she always has a way of making me laugh.<3 and I feel closer to her this year than ever. :)
Carlos, cause even though he DOES know every single detail of every single story, he's STILL here. And he deals with my mood swings. And random breakdowns. And my call everyday cause it's usually the only thing to cheer me up.
And I can feel it within myself, this change happening. And it's all so real. I feel older. Like I'm being talked to differently, treated differently. And me and my mom have so much of a closer relationship. It's different. I'm learning so much with so much going on. My family is a MESS! My mom has this fake act going on. Maybe it's not fake. But I know she loves him. So it has to be. Dad's "dating." Wow. Weird. And me and my sister? never in a million years. Which takes away my nephew and niece. And a lot of crying has been done thinking about how much I miss that little girl. :( And don't forget. My brother blames me for all of this.
On a completely different note. I still to this day find out more and more everytime I'm with him. And I have this sort of comfort being around him. I feel safe. And I can LAUGH. :o And joke around. Or just walk in silence. Or burst out in laughter. And make fun of the weird things going on. And lay in his arms. Play with his hands. And he kisses my forehead. And tells me his stories going on with him. And his mom will call and I have to "say something" to get him outta trouble. And it's like none of my problems are real for those few hours. And it's just us. And after 2 years, it's only become better and better. And I pray that things are always good between us. Because despite all of the things we have been through, he's my rock. My best friend. And he really has never left my side. He knows everything. He cares. He listens. He helps. He tells me when I'm wrong. Tells me when I'm right. He knows me. And I hope that it's always like that. And I finally figured out that things between us are better like this for now. And I can stop wishing. And hoping. And I know the story now. And I respect him so much more for telling me. And I honestly hope that 10 years from now he's still the one who I'll call my rock. And as unrealistic as that sounds, we've gone against all odds so far. I can do nothing but hope we still continue to do the same.
Yasmin, cause she's my bestie. She gives advice. And she's there.
Kristine, cause even when she doesnt know every single detail of every single story. She'll listen. And she always has a way of making me laugh.<3 and I feel closer to her this year than ever. :)
Carlos, cause even though he DOES know every single detail of every single story, he's STILL here. And he deals with my mood swings. And random breakdowns. And my call everyday cause it's usually the only thing to cheer me up.
And I can feel it within myself, this change happening. And it's all so real. I feel older. Like I'm being talked to differently, treated differently. And me and my mom have so much of a closer relationship. It's different. I'm learning so much with so much going on. My family is a MESS! My mom has this fake act going on. Maybe it's not fake. But I know she loves him. So it has to be. Dad's "dating." Wow. Weird. And me and my sister? never in a million years. Which takes away my nephew and niece. And a lot of crying has been done thinking about how much I miss that little girl. :( And don't forget. My brother blames me for all of this.
On a completely different note. I still to this day find out more and more everytime I'm with him. And I have this sort of comfort being around him. I feel safe. And I can LAUGH. :o And joke around. Or just walk in silence. Or burst out in laughter. And make fun of the weird things going on. And lay in his arms. Play with his hands. And he kisses my forehead. And tells me his stories going on with him. And his mom will call and I have to "say something" to get him outta trouble. And it's like none of my problems are real for those few hours. And it's just us. And after 2 years, it's only become better and better. And I pray that things are always good between us. Because despite all of the things we have been through, he's my rock. My best friend. And he really has never left my side. He knows everything. He cares. He listens. He helps. He tells me when I'm wrong. Tells me when I'm right. He knows me. And I hope that it's always like that. And I finally figured out that things between us are better like this for now. And I can stop wishing. And hoping. And I know the story now. And I respect him so much more for telling me. And I honestly hope that 10 years from now he's still the one who I'll call my rock. And as unrealistic as that sounds, we've gone against all odds so far. I can do nothing but hope we still continue to do the same.
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