What the hell do we do now?

I guess over the past week I've learned that there are honestly 3 people I'd be lost without during all these times. Yasmin, Kristine and Carlos.
Yasmin, cause she's my bestie. She gives advice. And she's there.
Kristine, cause even when she doesnt know every single detail of every single story. She'll listen. And she always has a way of making me laugh.<3 and I feel closer to her this year than ever. :)
Carlos, cause even though he DOES know every single detail of every single story, he's STILL here. And he deals with my mood swings. And random breakdowns. And my call everyday cause it's usually the only thing to cheer me up.

And I can feel it within myself, this change happening. And it's all so real. I feel older. Like I'm being talked to differently, treated differently. And me and my mom have so much of a closer relationship. It's different. I'm learning so much with so much going on. My family is a MESS! My mom has this fake act going on. Maybe it's not fake. But I know she loves him. So it has to be. Dad's "dating." Wow. Weird. And me and my sister? never in a million years. Which takes away my nephew and niece. And a lot of crying has been done thinking about how much I miss that little girl. :( And don't forget. My brother blames me for all of this.

On a completely different note. I still to this day find out more and more everytime I'm with him. And I have this sort of comfort being around him. I feel safe. And I can LAUGH. :o And joke around. Or just walk in silence. Or burst out in laughter. And make fun of the weird things going on. And lay in his arms. Play with his hands. And he kisses my forehead. And tells me his stories going on with him. And his mom will call and I have to "say something" to get him outta trouble. And it's like none of my problems are real for those few hours. And it's just us. And after 2 years, it's only become better and better. And I pray that things are always good between us. Because despite all of the things we have been through, he's my rock. My best friend. And he really has never left my side. He knows everything. He cares. He listens. He helps. He tells me when I'm wrong. Tells me when I'm right. He knows me. And I hope that it's always like that. And I finally figured out that things between us are better like this for now. And I can stop wishing. And hoping. And I know the story now. And I respect him so much more for telling me. And I honestly hope that 10 years from now he's still the one who I'll call my rock. And as unrealistic as that sounds, we've gone against all odds so far. I can do nothing but hope we still continue to do the same.