Who Knew?

Long time no write. Jeeez. April has been pretty crazy, and I haven't had my computer in awhile. But the important thing is, I'm here now. Hahaha. I'm such a retard. So, the number of days til graduation gets smaller and smaller everytime I open my eyes in the morning. It's such a weird feeling. It's happy but sad. I'm anxious but nervous. What's REALLY in the "real world" and am I really stepping into it just like THAT? Okay- maybe not. I'll still be living at home. I have yet to be hired ANYWHERE that I've applied to, or even called for that matter, and I can't seem to find someone to let me borrow their car for my driving test. Hm. >: But college is a pretty big deal. And with that comes a lot of new responsibilty. I got my reality check the last time my dad was here. I kinda wish my brother was going through all of this before me, or that my sister would've went to college. Then, I would have an idea of what to expect and someone to help. But, I'm doing this alone. My parents have no clue what to expect out of college. My dad is 6 hours away til God knows when (I miss him with everything in me right about now). And my mom was completely shocked when I took her on campus. It was so hilarious. She was looking around at everything like it ws some new world she had discovered. She pulled out her phone and started taking pictures of the library. Haha. That's about as high-tech my mom will probably ever get. That and her e-mailing. I'm stressing over school right now. I missed 2 weeks straight for reasons only my parents, counselor, teachers and Carlos know about. But, I am doing everything I can to bring up my grades. Gosh, AP tests next week. I say it like it's an actual week away, but really it's 3 days away for the 1st one. Ugh. Government. Hate it. Hmm, what else is there to say. Oh, I learned how to drive a stick-shift about 2-weeks ago. I felt so accomplished. :D I think I'm going to end up taking my test in my mom's jeep. I've gotten pretty good with the clutch. And I really want my license already.
Okay, so, I asked myself some questions a few posts back once I found out I was going to SDSU. Here's the answers:

I will be living at home.
I will be a full-time student with a part-time job.
The only financial aid I qualified for was work study, and a bunch of loans.
As for my grandma, still can't touch the college fund til she passes away. But, she told my mom my graduation gift is money. She wouldn't say it if it wasn't something that would actually help out. Not just a $20 bill or something. Since the loans pay for my whole year, I copuld possibly use that towards a car? :D Maybe.

Did I mention me and Carlos aren't talking? Well, we're not. Sorry for the randomness. It just popped in my head. It's been bugging me, a little bit. Not as much as usual, just a little. I sometimes want to grab my phone and text him about something, then I realize I can't. Haha. UGH. I hate these fights. Except, like he said, it's not a fight. Harsh words were said and I don't think I could forgive it. I'm lying, I could. I just don't know if I want too. If you honestly cared enough, it would've never been said in the first place. Not that it matters though, he's being just as stubborn as me. He seems to be doing well, too. But who knows with us, all our fights end up like this. We rarely fight anymore, but when we do, it gets ugly. I love the kid to death. It's just frutrating when you care about a person so much, and it's just not the same for them. It possibly could be. But for whatever reason, they just won't show it. A friendship isn't just one person trying, giving and sacrificing while the other just sits back and relaxes. Sorry buddy, but I deserve a lot better than that. Teehee.

Omg. I've written a book. And here I was all read to talk about the past 4 years and the upcoming 4 years. Psh. We'll save that for tomorrow. I need to go to sleep. Dr. Coles in the morning. Yay. -_-