The wait is over.

I got the letter I have been anticipating for about 4 months now. I must say, it was the most amazing feeling I have felt in awhile to read "Congratulations" within the first few words. It was a mix of relief, excitement, sadness, and being nervous. And I liked it. :) My moms words after 10 minutes or so were, "That's what you call a reality check huh? I'm happy for you, but sad at the same time. This is a sign you're growing up. Well, I guess it's not THAT far." Followed by a lot of laughter. And my dad actually said that he was proud. :o Don't get me wrong at all, my dad has ALWAYS been proud of everything I do. But I know that when it comes to SDSU, he'd much rather have me at a school closer to where he's living. And as much as I miss him, I know that his job is definitely not in a permanent location. Next year he will no longer be in Vegas. Why go to school somewhere just so I can be stuck there when he'll just leave a year later? No thanks. And on the other hand, most people see SDSU as "no big deal." However, I definitely did NOT have the best GPA. And 'm talking about below a 3.0. Barely, but still below. And my SAT scores were okay. I was only allowed to apply to one school. So SDSU or southwestern college were my only options. So I took a chance. Knowing that students with a GPA of 4.4 were going to apply as well. And, I did it. So this IS a big deal to me.

Now my head is spinning with "what to dos" and "what's next?" and "Why so fast?" Growing up is scary. Now I'm faced with deciding where to live, home or away? What type of student, full-time or part-time? Job or no job? Will I qualify for financial aid? Do I call my grandma and ask? And I think I'm still in shock from it all. I'm not even 18 yet. Well, in about 11 days I will be. :p But still, these are really big decisions to make. It's like a turning point for me. Now I HAVE to keep up my grades this semester. And I can stop this stressing over it.

I'm gonna do this. This is MY choice for once. I'm doing it forme. And my future. And for the first time in a really long time, I can say I'm proud of myself. :)

Waiting.

I feel so impatient lately. I'm just waiting and waiting and waiting for the letter from SDSU to come in. I know that I said previously that it was a NO, but maybe actually seeing that letter will make it REAL to them. Or maybe I'm just setting my hopes too high.
I'm lucky enough to have my best friend in the world and my bestie of 5 years<3 supporting me and telling me to go for it. If only EVERYONE felt that way. :/

On a different note, 15 days til I'm 18! Haha. I feel like I'm so excited, but not really showing it. Not one person around here is thrilled about it. I think it might be too much of a wake up call to them. Oh well. It's happening. And they knew the day would come sooner or later. They're just going to have to live with it.
It's also the bestie's birthday in 12 days. :) Which means Neptunes as well. :) It is going to be soo exciting to see how my friends react with Carlos around. Haha. I'm so happy he's actually going. I know we've talked about it before when we were actually together. But never in a million years would I have thought he'd still wanna go. :) It's going to be so funn! We're renting a car, if my mom comes through with all this. Which I'm 99% positive she will. And I have it all planned out what I'll be doing for Yasmin too! Eeeek. Excited!

Let's see. What else is going on? Everything. Who am I kidding? But honestly, it's nothing I wanna talk or vent about. That's apparently what I have Carlos for. Which I am very very very lucky for. :)

OH! I found the prom dress I want. It is GORGEOUS. It reminds me of a Marilyn Monroe dress. Which is why it caught my eye. And it is extremely inexpensive considering it's a prom dress. :)
I hope nobody else finds it as well.


I'm out for the night. I have stupid health in the morning. >:/ I really think it's the worst class to start a day off with. The people in there are terrible. Minus Steph and Ashley. But I hardly ever get to talk to them anyways. So I'll be starting my morning off locked out of the classroom for being tardy. YAY ME! -_- Goodnight.

Just Thinking.

"Why is it that we love the ones who ignore us and ignore the ones who love us? Sometimes you need to forget what you want and remember what you deserve."

My friend Angel posted this quote in a bulletin. I swear, it couldn't have been better timing. :/ I feel stupid.

Life takes the weirdest turns.

I swear it feels like a week ago things were going perfect.
I was finally at the point with that kidd that I wanted to be at.
Friends... but just a little bit more.
And talking about neptunes had me all excited.
And things with my family were going so good. I was talking to Yasmin about how I was finally considering UNLV. And how I'll be 18 next month and driving and I was looking forward to the car.
And now....

Everything is turned completely around.
I swear I couldn't feel farther from HIM.
Neptunes is now a constant question in my head. Especially since I need to get the guest pass if he decides he still wants to go.
And I feel like my family is falling apart. I mean, it's not, but It feels like it right now.
And 18? who cares anymore. My dad won't let me go. I can't grow up in his eyes yet and its holding me back. The car? HA. Dad made it verrryy clear he's too scared about me driving. Looks like I'm buying myself a car.
And now... my parents.

I'm so sick of the fake smile now. Everyone thinks I'm soooo happy. I guess that's my fault for putting on the big act. But it's getting to me now. I need a break. I can't be EVERYONES rock. And I can't hold EVERYTHING in anymore. I'm too stressed. Schools the only thing I have to look forward too believe it or not, and I have to end up missing that too apparently.

This is lame.
I miss my cousin.
I miss being able to talk to my other half too.

I need to pray.
I hope things change. I need it right now.

Dreading a 4 day weekend?! :o

Yeah, basically.
Ugh. I don't see how this weekend could even go any worse. That's the bright side of the whole situation.
I don't get how my dad could even THINK like that?
"Oh let's go out to dinner and ruin Brittany's Valentine's Day by making her babysit. :D"
It's bad enough that I'll be in Vegas, hey why not throw in being stuck alone with an 8 year old and 2 year old who HATES me.
-_-
Like I have no life at all. Ew.



At least I'll see my dad, and his new house. Considering it'll probably be the last time I see him til a week or so after I turn 18. YIPPEE.
NAHT.



I'm not even looking forward to my birthday anymore. All everyone's decided to do is whine and complain about how excited I am over nothing.
THANKS guys. :D





On a much much much happier note, I saw Carlos for the first tiime in about a month. I gave him the Valentine's Day stuff I made him, early. Since I won't be here. I was so shocked that I actually got BUTTERFLIES. And my heart was racing. And I acted like a middle schooler all giggly and what not. It was like being put back into time to about a year ago. And even though I'm not supposed to feel that anymore, I enjoyed it. :)

Ugh.

SDSU is a NO.
ugh. How lame is that? :( wtf do i do now? whooo knowws.

Anyways, I should be in Vegas for this 4 day weekend. And I am NOT thrilled about it at all.
Way to make Valentine's day even worse than it really is. :/

School's going goood. I can FINALLY say that for once since last year. :D
Family is good as well.
Boy's are not a priority right now.
And friends are...okay. :)


So life's iffy right now.
But as I learned this weekend, it's wayyy tooo damn short.
You never know when it can be taken from you.
so live everyday like it was your last.
and that's exactly what I'm going to do.